Training New Writing Muscles

I have more ideas — for essays, fiction, poetry, games — than I know what to do with. They fall around my like leaves, tumbling into a massive pile of unfinished possibilities that can feel too overwhelming to take on.

One of my frustrations with this ever growing accumulation of ideas is my seeming inability to catch up. I just can’t seem write fast enough, and it doesn’t help that when I do sit down to write (after my day job), I often struggle to find the right words, the right shape to the piece.

And yet, when I am at my day job, everything seems to flow more easily. I can sit down and research, outline, and write articles on aluminum manufacturing with clear focus. Even when I don’t want to write the article, I can still push myself through the process of writing the article.

Knowing this, it’s easy to question myself. Why do I find it so easy to write at work, when I can’t seem to find that flow with my personal writing? What if I’ll only ever be good at writing about aluminum? What if I’m just not good enough of a writer to complete even a fraction of the ideas in my head?

I’m sure I’m not the only one who spirals through these feelings of self doubt.

But if I look logically at my situation, there are numerous reasons as to why writing for my day job might feel easier than writing my personal creative works:

1. I’m being paid to spend my eight hours a day thinking, researching, and writing about aluminum. Being required to take this allotted time to work forces me to push away all other distractions that might otherwise make it difficult to write.

2. I’ve been at this job for over 15 years, learning and practicing the craft of the specific type of articles required for this trade magazine. As such, have developed a repertoire of language and tools that allow me to be comfortable enough with the writing process enough to streamline it.

3. Because I spend a lot of my mental energy on the job throughout the day, I only have limited amount energy left over to focus on my passion projects…

4. And the time I do have to focus on those passion projects is also jumbled up with all the other things that need doing — such as cleaning my house, attending to my relationships, and taking care of my physical and mental health needs — not to mention making space to have fun and relax.

Judging myself for not finding it easy to write essays is kind of like spending 90% of my strength training routine doing squats and lunges and then being confused as to why pull ups are so damn hard. I’ve been working different muscle groups this entire time.

If I had the luxury of being able to focus on my creative work full time, I would have the time, energy, and focus to stretch and strengthen my skills in writing fiction, poetry, essays, and games. I would have the opportunity to develop that repertoire of language and tools required to streamline the writing process (or at least achieve a greater level of comfort with those forms).

But, my present reality is that I do have a day job, and I do have limited time to invest in the pile of ideas and bring them to completion. So, maybe — just maybe — I should be a bit more gentle with myself (and maybe you with yourself) when it comes to the fact that writing can be difficult. It takes awhile to get comfortable with new writing muscles, and as long as you’re doing the work, you’re making progress.

Good Reads

Jocelyn K. Glei warns against future tripping, which she describes as “the anxiety of potential. Stoking our anxiety about bad things that might potentially happen in the future, and stoking our anxiety that we are not living up to our potential.”

Rather than focusing on “all that we are not,” Glei recommends turning inward, urging the reader to explore their inner reality and remember who they are.